Thursday, October 18, 2007

Fair Game: Jon Swift

The good old days.

Gotta love the genius of Jon Swift. He does his homework, supports his arguments with a slew of articles I'm too lazy to read through, and consistently makes a good reasonable conservative case. Much better than I can say for his brethren, especially that Colbert guy.

Anywho, it appears that even the most compassionate conservatives really do have it out for children. I, for one, do not blame them. In fact, I feel quite liberated. Children? The future? Balderdash! What are children really good for? It is illegal to send them to work (unless you're lucky enough to live in Laos), you have to shelter feed and clothe them, they're always gumming up your vintage Lugar, they can't even reach the jib on your sloop, and for some reason one feels that due to the fact they share your genes that you are obliged, nay, honored to love them, or something. Children need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, spit out the teat, and join the millions of passionless drones slaving away to pay down the loan on that Lincoln-Log set or the deluxe Leukemia Treatment they got for Christmas. "I'm just a kid." is a bad excuse for shiftlessness and gluttony. Change your diaper on your own time, mister. You've got microchips to solder.

Is Jimmy Carter raping kittens? he?

This is a funny and insightful glance into the rash of hate we have dug up for ol' Jimmy from Only Sayin'.

Dodd's Patriot(ic) Act

Remember the "Emergency" 6-month FISA bill that gave Bush the power to listen to whomever he wants without court approval, no matter if they're US Citizen or not? It was supposed to be temporary, but as the 6 months is almost up, it's time for chickenshit Dems to re-authorize it for 6 YEARS! WTF?

Chris Dodd just put a hold on that terrible FISA Bill, and is showing the kind of leadership that makes him my #2 Candidate in the Race (I'm an Edwards booster).

From Dodd's Site:
The Military Commissions Act. Warrantless wiretapping. Shredding of Habeas Corpus. Torture. Extraordinary Rendition. Secret Prisons.

No more.

I have decided to place a "hold" on the latest FISA bill that would have included amnesty for telecommunications companies that enabled the President's assault on the Constitution by illegally providing personal information on their customers without judicial authorization.

I said that I would do everything I could to stop this bill from passing, and I have.

It's about delivering results -- and as I've said before, the FIRST thing I will do after being sworn into office is restore the Constitution. But we shouldn't have to wait until then to prevent the further erosion of our country's most treasured document. That's why I am stopping this bill today.

Nice work, Chris.

"Are YOU the face of Compassionate Conservativism, Pat Buchanan?" *Milk sprays from nose*

Today on MSNBC's Softball, is Chris Matthews huffing Glade? Nah... most likely he is following the cue cards without any idea what Buchanan is blathering about. Thanks for the insight, Tweety.

News Linx

Congress FAILS to override Bush SCHIP veto. Here's the Roll Call. This bill was ALREADY a compromise. Douchebags all.

Edwards picks up yets ANOTHER Union Endorsement (and it's an IOWA Union).

A Protest Sign That Gets Right to the Point

From the good people over at Silenced Majority Portal

Homeland Security Seizes Death Cab Guitarist's Hard Drive

Way to go Homeland Security. It seems that a courier was bringing a hard drive with the final mixdowns of Death Cab guitarist Chris Walla's new solo album. It was traveling from Vancouver to Seattle when it was seized by border guards and turned over to computer forensics experts for examination. Way to go America! Looks like somebody is taking those "music is a weapon" tshirts a little too seriously.

Co-Founder of DNA claims blacks "Less intelligent"

"It is a shame that a man with a record of scientific distinction should see his work overshadowed by his own irrational prejudices." - David Lammy, British government skills minister

Wallet Forgotton, Romney Borrows Cash for Steamer

Romney borrows money for his Cleveland Steamer

No. This is NOT an Onion Exclusive. Romney is a total douche. If you notice, he borrows money twice. once for the steamer and once for the wishing well.

Wed Oct 17, 6:08 PM ET

DEWITT, Iowa - Campaign aide, can you spare a five? Republican Mitt Romney, the wealthiest presidential candidate with assets of between $190 million and $250 million, had to borrow cash from an aide Wednesday to pay for beverages at the Crossroads Coffee.

Romney ordered a vanilla steamer and offered to buy a cup for his host, DeWitt Mayor Don Thiltgen.

The former Massachusetts governor borrowed $5 from an aide, explaining that he didn't have his wallet.

"I only got three (dollars) in my pocket," he told the mayor.

Thiltgen declined the drink, saying he couldn't accept a gift valued at more than $2.99 — a steamer goes for $3.

Later, Romney visited Necker's jewelers, where he asked the owner about a brown obelisk-shaped fountain. They told him it was a wishing well, prompting someone in the crowd to hand him a penny.

"What do we wish for? I just hope I carry Clinton," Romney said, referring to the county he was in.

He then tossed the penny into the fountain.

Brownback Mountain

I wish I knew how to quit you!

Denny "Mark Foley Who?" Hastert to resign this year!

It's just no fun not being in the majority, is it Denny? What's a former Speaker of the House and Friend, Enabler, and Protector of Sexual Predators to do? Why, he'll resign, of course!

Maybe he can take the time to learn the words to the National Anthem.