The good old days.Gotta love the genius of Jon Swift. He does his homework, supports his arguments with a slew of articles I'm too lazy to read through, and consistently makes a good reasonable conservative case. Much better than I can say for his brethren, especially that Colbert guy.
Anywho, it appears that even the most compassionate conservatives really do have it out for children. I, for one, do not blame them. In fact, I feel quite liberated. Children? The future? Balderdash! What are children really good for? It is illegal to send them to work (unless you're lucky enough to live in Laos), you have to shelter feed and clothe them, they're always gumming up your vintage Lugar, they can't even reach the jib on your sloop, and for some reason one feels that due to the fact they share your genes that you are obliged, nay, honored to love them, or something. Children need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, spit out the teat, and join the millions of passionless drones slaving away to pay down the loan on that Lincoln-Log set or the deluxe Leukemia Treatment they got for Christmas. "I'm just a kid." is a bad excuse for shiftlessness and gluttony. Change your diaper on your own time, mister. You've got microchips to solder.
